Bir iki müzik

I Can Do Without You from Calamity Jane (1953)

[Calamity:] In the Summer… you’re the Winter In the finger… you’re the splinter In the banquet, you’re the stew. Say! I could do without you!

[Wild Bill:]In the garden, you’re the gopher, In the Levi’s you’re the loafer, Like an overturned canoe… Well, I could do without you!

[Calamity:] You can go to… Philadelphia Take a hack to Hackensack. Hey!! I’ll never RING a BELL fer ya! Or yell fer yer to come back!!

[Wild Bill:] In the question, you’re the why In the ointment, you’re the FLY!!

[Calamity:] Though I know some things are indispensable… Like a buck or two, If there’s one thing I can do without, I can do without you!

[Wild Bill:] In the barrel, you’re a pickle In the goldmine, you’re a nickel You’re the tack inside my shoe. Yes!! I can do without you!

[Calamity:] In my bosom, you’re a dagger You’re a mangy carpet-bagger! In the theatre you’re the ‘boo’! I can do without you.

[Wild Bill:] You got charms, they ain’t bewitchin’ me!! You’ve a face no one would paint!

[Calamity:] I got the darndest itch in me!! To be wherever you ain’t! [Wild Bill:] In the bullfrog, you’re the croak.

[Calamity:] In the forest, poison oak!

[Wild Bill:] Though I know some things are necessary My half-pint buckaroo, If there’s one thing I can do without, I can do without…..

[Calamity:] You’re a knothead!

[Wild Bill:] You’re a faker!

[Calamity:] You’re a bonehead!

[Wild Bill:] Troublemaker!

[Both:] I can do without you!

*

“Ballad of Tom Jones” – Space

What did I do wrong?

Oh, you nearly drove me cuckoo

I am really all that bad?

You’re worse than Hannibal Lecter, Charlie Manson, Freddy Krueger.

Why are we still together?

Oh, I can’t leave you till you’re dead

You mean till death do us part?

I mean like cyanide, strangulation or an axe through your head

It was lucky for us

I turned the radio on

They say that music sooths the savage beast

There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red

The two of us would’ve surely have ended up dead

 

You stopped us from killing each other

(Tom Jones, Tom Jones)

You’ll never know but you saved our lives

(Tom Jones, Tom Jones)

I’ve never thrown my knickers at you

And I don’t come from Wales

 

Still haven’t solved our problems

You mean we have each other’s guts

Still want to poison your pizza

And I still want to cut off your hands

I’ve phoned the marriage guidance

I’ve tied the phone-line round your neck

I’m sick of all this hatred

Oh, that’ll be the arsenic making you sick

You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff

As I tried to jump out I knocked the stereo on

You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes

It was lucky for us we bought his greatest hits

 

And now our war is over

I’ve lost the urge to break your neck

I owe my life to What’s New Pussycat

Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you’re dead

Oh, I used to call you Satan

I called you Cruella de Ville

But now you call me your Delilah

And I am just a pussycat

But just a word of warning now

Just in case we ever get tired of his voice

I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong

And I know an atom bomb

that’s going for a song

 

 ***

Yaşadığım tüm ilişkilerin özeti bu. Özetle, yanımda olmana katlanamıyorum. Ağız kokuna, salonun ortasına bıraktığın çoraplara, arabanı üç sokak öteye hep aynı yere park etmene, felekten bir gece çalma anlayışının köşedeki meyhane veya Taksim’deki türkü bar olmasına – katlanamıyorum. Bazen yastığı yüzüne bastırıp meditasyon yapmayı hayal ediyorum. Nefes al, verme sakın. Tut o nefesi!

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